It was just another ordinary day. I woke up, took a shower and started getting ready to go to the office. I opened my closet, grabbed the pants I always wore (Banana Republic Logans), and they were TIGHT. I mean…TIGHT. It felt like this literally happened overnight. I was 43 and had recently started having a really hard time sleeping through the night. Visions of activities left undone swirled through my head as I woke up EVERY hour until it was time to wake up at 5 (and angrily that is when I had JUST fallen into a deep sleep). UGH.
I’ve made it my mission to understand what was happening to me back then, and what I suspect is happening to most women in my age group and beyond. I remember feeling like I was doing ALL THE THINGS that I had always done to maintain my weight and to stay in shape but they were NO LONGER WORKING! I mean, I worked out for an hour every day… WHAT THE HECK???? My metabolism MUST BE BROKEN!!!!
Sound familiar? I’m here to help!
The Big Realization
One day I read that our metabolism only declines slightly as we age and it’s due primarily to a decrease in muscle mass. I got insanely angry and couldn’t believe it. But then as I thought about it more, I had an amazing A-HA revelation. “You mean, I actually can control the slight decline in my metabolism???” The answer, my friends, is YES. Yes, yes, yes.
Reasons why we begin gaining “weird” weight in midlife and beyond:
- After age 30, we lose muscle mass (between 3-8% PER DECADE). This can absolutely impact our metabolism. The more muscle we have, the more calories we burn so we want to maintain and build more muscle.
- Sleep issues: Remember when I said that I was sleeping like crap earlier? Sleep impacts our health in so many ways, especially when it comes to our hormones. If you find yourself craving foods that you usually don’t because you haven’t slept well, that is normal. I have learned that in perimenopause, progesterone is the first hormone to decline. Progesterone is the hormone of calm and relaxation. For me, talking to a doctor and getting my hormones tested was a game-changer. I highly recommend reaching out to your medical professional to discuss testing if that is an option for you.
- Our N.E.A.T. goes down (which isn’t so neat…). NEAT is our NON-EXERCISE ACTIVITY THERMOGENISIS. It’s all the activities in our daily life BESIDES our daily exercise. Some examples are cooking, cleaning, walking from the car to a store, and even fidgeting. My NEAT had gone down dramatically without me even realizing it (ESPECIALLY during the pandemic) and as I thought about it more and more, I realized just how inactive I had become. I was sitting at a desk all day and then coming home to sit in my car driving my kids to sports practices and sitting in the car while waiting for them! I even stopped washing my hair every day, so I wasn’t even getting the activity from blow drying my hair!!!! “But Steph, you exercise EVERY DAY for 30 minutes to an hour!” you might say. Yep, I was consistent with exercise but even that only accounted for 5 measly % of my daily activity. So, things had to change. I needed to up my NEAT!
- We eat more than we realize (or remember). I decided to track what I ate for a few days and was shocked. I mean I tracked EVERYTHING… the creamer in my coffee, the handful of cashews, the sauce on my chicken, etc. Don’t get me wrong, I was eating “HEALTHY” foods but what I didn’t realize was that no matter how healthy I ate, I was in a calorie surplus (eating more calories than my body needed) and that was one of the reasons why I was “unexpectedly” gaining weight.
We often UNDERESTIMATE the amount we are eating and OVERESTIMATE the amount of activity we are doing.
Great News… We Can Make Positive Changes and Feel Better
We have more power than we (I) initially thought. That is GREAT news! Here are a few of the ways that we can feel better and get back into our favorite pants.
Strength Train – Start implementing a solid program of weight training and not just finding random workouts on Pinterest (more on this in a blog post coming soon). We need to start lifting weights and progressively increase the intensity over time. New to weight-lifting? It is NEVER too late to start!!!
Set yourself up for great sleep – create a soothing environment in your bedroom, start going to bed at a reasonable hour and wind down earlier, take a warm bath with Epsom salts and essential oils, turn off electronic devices a little earlier. Slow down on the caffeine by early afternoon. I know, I know, the first thing we want to do when we are tired and slumpy is reach for caffeine but try to limit it in the afternoon. Think that your hormones might be contributing to the lack of sleep or waking up in the middle of the night? Talk to your doctor about hormone testing and possibly hormone replacement therapy (HRT).
Increase your NEAT. Park your car farther away from the store, start walking the dog, walk without the dog, move around more during the day in between meetings, get up and stretch, play with your kids or grandkids more. It all adds up!
Track your food for a few days to see exactly how many calories you are eating. Track it ALL. Every bite, every lick, every taste. Eating your kid’s leftover mac and cheese? Track it. That latte that you got at Starbs earlier today? Track it. Then, calculate how many calories (approximately) would get you into a calorie deficit to get started losing fat. Here’s the calculation:
Goal Body Weight* (in pounds) x 12 = Your starting point for fat loss calories
Then, calculate how much protein you should be eating:
Goal Body Weight* (in pounds) x 1 = Your total protein grams per day
*Keep in mind that Goal Body Weight does not have to be the absolute end goal body weight. For example, you do not have to use your high school weight because you THINK that that should be your goal. Pick a weight that isn’t too far from your current weight so that you can start losing body fat without potentially jumping down to a lower calorie amount than is necessary. Remember, this is going to be a way of life, NOT a diet that we do for 4 weeks and then go back to what we were doing before.
I know that is a LOT of info to digest! If you have questions, I would love to hear from you. What is YOUR biggest struggle in midlife?








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